My Own Personal iPhone 3G Hell

I'm writing this for a couple of reasons:

1.  Personal Therapy - I feel like I should "get it out", because the resentment and dissatisfaction are immense.

2.  Im so tired of explaining it - The debacle that is the relationship between Apple and AT&T is just awe inspiring in it's magnitude.

So here goes.....

I, too was wooed by the next version of the iPhone, the iPhone 3G.  The first iPhone rollout went so well from an "in-store" perspective that I have to admit that I kind of looked forward to hanging out in line with my fellow gear junkies.  Discussing the latest goodness that the Willie Wonka of Silicon Valley, Steve Jobs was about to bestow on us.  I should have known that soon, things would go horribly wrong....when everyone started talking about how you can't leave the store without an activated iPhone.

I have to admit.  I recalled immediately the problem that was "activation" on the first iPhone.  You see, I have an unfortunate affliction.  I have been branded by AT&T as being somewhere in between a personal account and a business account from when I was converted from Cingular.  For some reason, the account I have is coded with some sort of code that has become a mark on my very sanity.  If I want to keep my existing phone number, I have to put up with the inevitable, gut wrenching "Is your account a business account?" from the AT&T minion helping me at the time.  The very phrase gives me chills.

But I digress.  I assure you, the above is very relevant to my story.  

As the line moves forward, trouble began almost immediately.  The once smiling Apple staff handing out bottles seemed to become a bit agitated.  Trouble was "abrewin'" at the head of the line.  But still we had high hopes.  It all started going south when a female senior Apple staffer started walking up and down the line asking everyone if they had a business account.  Seems if you had a business account to convert, you had to go to an AT&T store.  We found this out after having waited for about four hours.  I admit I thought about telling her about my affliction.  My brand, my scarlet letter that had created so many problems for setting up new devices.  But I could not believe she would have understood.  No one understands....not even the people who are supposed to.

I don't know why I didn't get out of the line right there.  The first iPhone launch had me purchase a new iPhone with a new number and then convert later.  This worked okay, so I figured I could do the same in the store.  I waited the remaining two hours and got to the head of the line.  I walked up to the desk, chose the white one, and the process began.  I could feel a chill forming at the base of my spine.  Like the one you get when you are trying to buy alcohol while under age?  When the clerk is checking your ID?  "Please don't ask, please don't ask." I panted as the "Genius" entered my activation information.  Then it came....the moment still brings a shudder....."Is this a business account?"....my knees gave way and I feel down on the hard brushed aluminum floor.  Just kidding, but I did start to sweat.

Thus began my latest hell.....

After two hours of arguing with the woman who told me I couldn't wait in line with a business account accusing me of having a business account  (I felt like a leper); and a long stint at the AT&T office upstairs in the mall, I left with a new iPhone 3g with a new phone number.  I figured, Ill just wait a few days, convert the account and drop the new phone number.  I mean, even the AT&T store manager, Bill Hickman agreed that my account was a personal one and should have been honored.  Curse you...oh evil AT&T mark.....

Then it began....

Bill Hickman told me to come back in a few days, and he would do the conversion.  So I did...but Bill had been fired.  Maybe because he was doing these conversions?  Even though the problem was poor account coding by AT&T's database administrators?  If so, shame on you AT&T....Bill was the only staff member who even acted like he gave a crap.

Now, in addition to my brand, my cursed brand, I am now a criminal in the eyes of AT&T for going around their strict system.  I call AT&T and they tell me I have to go into an Apple store to return the phone and get a new phone.  I go to the Apple store and the staffer tells me that if he does that, my account code "brand" will potentially leave me with no phone at all.   I truly can not break from the cycle.  It is the very definition of hell considering that I actually like my iPhone and want to use it without having to forward calls from my old iPhone to this new one.

Seems the only way to truly break free is to give up my phone number, but frankly, I resent the fact that an account coding issue that happened when AT&T was converting the Cingular customer database has to cause me to change out a phone number I have been using for over 5 years!  So the fight continues.  Can you help?  Please email me at ethigent@gmail.com if you can and perhaps someday I will be delivered from the bondage of the mark that AT&T has branded me with.